Needs Are Not Only Important--They're legally Expected

One thing some people don’t realize when they’re out—and even if they run into a deaf person while they’re out and about—how difficult some aspects can become if no one’s prepared. They don’t see that we need help in one way or another—ASL interpreter, oral interpreter, hearing dog (which we would supply), etc.

They don’t realize that, if they (meaning a business or office or doctor’s appointment), need to communicate with a deafie, they need not only to schedule one (*whichever the deaf person requests), but it must be at least 24 hours in advance of the meeting or appt. to give the agency enough time to find an interpreter for the appointment.

That doesn’t always happen with me (at least). Perhaps I’m just lucky. They say God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. I must be one big shot in the bag. Why do I say that? I cannot even begin to tell you how often Kenny takes me a long-been scheduled appt and we find no ‘terp being expected.

So, what does one do in these situations? Sure, depending on the time of day, once could call an emergency interpreter and wait around for an hour or more—only then needing to find an opening for that doctor.

The several times this has happened to me, it’s always the same thing on my end.

1. Ask them what time the interpreter is scheduled for. (Often the answer is never).
2. Literally and loudly communicate my total disappointment the place is to be seeing me.
3. Then reschedule leaving it clear this is no to happen again.
4. Go home ticked off and wait for yet another call regarding arranging a ‘terp. (I’ll believe it when I see it.)

There is one more option, but it is NOT recommended—to ask the hearing friend/family you’re there with if they’d stand in and interpret.

Let me straight with you—that is technically illegal because it is not their full language, they don’t have the schooling needed to do this, the appt is supposed to be confidential, and they don’t have a certificate. So, Kenny has been asked/forced to interpret for me at several therapy and psychiatric and medical meeting and lotsg of other places (dentists, discussions, etc). And Kenny does it, but he’s pretty ticked-off. He wants money for his efforts—with or without his certificate. And I totally agree.

My point? Respect deaf people’s needs for accommodations. Be sure to follow through with setting them up to fill their needs. After all, being deaf and surrounded by hearing people doesn’t make for a comfortable situation.

Just my opinion.

Anyone agree?

Please comment!

CHANGES-- THEY ARE A-COMING

Have you ever had a circumstance growing up where you try to do your best at something and learn all you can about the specific details and such? Then you set it aside and forget about it for a while. Eight months later, you drag it out of your closet while spring-cleaning, and it rekindles your enthusiasm for the activity. However, after taking it out in the world and trying to start where you left out, you find that most of the rules and nuances of what you’re trying to do are no longer the way you learned it. It’s frustrating!

But it’s not all that uncommon. And for students learning American Sign Language to be able to interpret for a career have this occur often. You just have to learn to expect it.

Some of the things that have been changing are the name for countries. Whereas before, there was a sign used in ASL that went for a specific country, for example, GERMANY. It was done with putting the side of each five hand, one on top of the other, while you wiggled your fingers. That’s been used forever. But now it’s starting to change.

What’s happening is that, just as each country has their own Sign Language, each country has a sign done in their sign language to mean where they live.  To illustrate, GERMANY isn’t signed that way nowadays. The “new” sign, which is the sign taken from Germany themselves, is the right index finger pointed up into the air and set on the top of your head.

But this can get tricky, since the sign for HORNY is pretty close to the new GERMANY. The people having the conversation have to know what each other is referring to or you might end up in trouble with your partner.

Other countries have done this, too. AUSTRALIA, ITALY, KOREA, JAPAN, CHINA, and many more places. And it doesn’t just go for locations. Languages evolve and, ASL being a full language has changes, too.

American Sign Language also adapts within our country. I was raised to learn ASL in Illinois. When I moved to Michigan, signs that I use for METAL are used here for TRASH. Our sign for EARLY is different than what most of the country uses. Same thing with OUTSIDE or ELECTRICITY. But it’s OK. If it’s your language or your second language, it is best that you learn all variations and be prepared like the Boy Scouts you meet along the way.

So be careful out there and have an open mind. The best interpreters out there are those who learn as many of the signs for the same time that they can. That way, they’re fully ready to adapt to the Deaf person’s accent.

As you learn to use sign language content and signs, you will find that picking up the new and not-so-new variations becomes easier and easier. Best of Luck!!

FIVE OF THE BEST WAYS TO LEARN AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE

Let’s face it. Learning a foreign language isn’t exactly easy to do. To successfully become fluent in, say, German, one must not only learn the vocabulary, but study the grammar, the culture, and the history of the language as well. The same thing goes for American Sign Language (ASL), the language used by many, many deaf people and others—including the Deaf Culture, CODAs (Children of Deaf Adults), teachers, interpreters, and more. If you’re reading this, thinking, “Duh,” then you may be surprised just how many would-be signers/students don’t know this.

I remember a time my husband, Kenny, introduced me to a person who was looking to become a certified sign language interpreter. After Kenny introduced me to him, the student started waving his hands in the air and occasionally slapping himself in the face or grabbing his groin like Michael Jackson. Whether he screeched when he did this is anyone’s guess. I didn’t ask and Kenny didn’t tell. Thank you, God. But Kenny did help the disturbed guy translate what the perverse movements meant: “I don’t really need a lot of help. As you can see, I’m pretty good at it already. Whoo-hoo (there went the groin again)!” My last reaction was to laugh so hard I spit in his face. Once I calmed down a bit, I was able to ask him a few questions to help me know where he was in his studies.

I started signing and talking at the same time (using Contact Sign) so he could understand me:

ME: So, uh…where have you studied in the past?

HIM: Actually, I haven’t really needed to do anything formal. As you can see, I pick things up fairly fast and easily (smacking himself on the cheek and blinking his eyes as if he were about to have a seizure).

ME: Oh…kay. Hmm. Do you know any Deaf people whom you can practice with?

HIM: Not really. I’ve seen a few in the grocery store and I think there’s one at my church. I honestly haven’t talked to any except you. I want to be fluent before I have to go face-to-face with one.

ME: Why’s that?

HIM: Well, they’re kinda scary. I mean, not you, but the others I’ve seen. They don’t even talk. I mean, who doesn’t talk? Isn’t that like a requirement when you’re out in public?

I stopped the questions about that time. I didn’t really want to ask him anything else. I was already convinced he needed a lot more than ASL classes. Perhaps some antipsychotic medication and an imaginary dragon to play with would help.

So, I didn’t get very far with that guy. Even inviting him to one of my Sign Language classes was met with an interesting retort “You mean sit around with people who don’t know anything about deaf people? Wouldn’t that just be a waste of my time?” No reply from me was necessary.

Now, experiences like this one are not as rare as you might think. In fact, I would say that at least 1/3 of the people in the world who want to learn ASL think it’s nothing more than pantomime and funny faces. I must object and make it clear that learning ASL is not any easier than any other foreign language out there. And if you want to interpret, you must be fluent and certified with the state (or nationally certified if you are wiling to go the extra mile). I decided to let all of you know five of the best ways to learn this language—ASL or Contact Sign—and I hope you’ll take to my suggestions willingly.

5. Study ASL users online. The first thing you should do when you are thinking of learning this beautiful and challenging language is to do some online searching. Go to www.Google.com or www.YouTube.com and type into the search line: American Sign Language. You will find more people using ASL than ever imagined. Be careful though. Some might say ASL, but actually be using Signed English—something you don’t want to confuse it with.

You can also find several sites to help you learn vocabulary:

            http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/aslpro.cgi

            http://www.signingsavvy.com/

            http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm

Or practice your receptive fingerspelling (a must-learn part of the language):

            http://asl.ms/

4. Take a community sign language class. If you ask around, looking for an area sign language class, there will usually be something that can help. Just be sure to ask the person in charge if they are indeed teaching ASL or just Sign Language or Signed English. There’s nothing wrong with started out with Contact Sign as long as you know what you’re doing. CSL  is basically ASL vocabulary in English word order. Many students start out with CSL, learning conceptually correct ASL vocabulary, but start learning the grammar and sentence structure later.

3. Enroll in a college interpreter’s program. This step is definitely the way to go if you’re serious about wanting to become a certified interpreter (and if you want to make money as an interpreter, you’ll need to be certified). Just be sure to study the programs goals and attitudes about both ASL and Deaf Culture. Not all interpreters program are as helpful as you might think. Just because it’s there doesn’t mean it’s what you’re looking for. And please be sure that the classes are taught by Deaf teachers with experience (your best bet) or Certified ASL interpreters. Also keep in mind that a deaf teacher doesn’t guarantee fluency in ASL. There are millions of deafies out there who became deaf as an adult and really don’t know anything about the things you need to learn.

2. Find a mentor. Ahhh…If only every student could do this! You’ll have to put in some effort to find the right person for you, but it’ll be worth your time. You’ll want to call around to local interpreting agencies, ASL programs and the deaf community to find someone. Make sure they are skilled and are OK with you hanging out with them and observing their work or watching them chat with a skilled signer.

1. Get out there and socialize with the deaf community. I chose to list this one as the #1 way to learn ASL. Surprised? I’m not kidding you. You might be surprised at how many would-be students are terrified to actually hang out with deaf people! They’re too darn intimidated and they want to wait till they’re already good at it. Could it be that people like me go around with “I’ll kill you if you even try” sort of looks at all times? Even if that’s so, you have to force yourself. I mean, come on! If you want to learn ASL—to be an interpreter or for other reasons—wouldn’t you think that you have to get to know the community, too? Like it or not, getting out there is by far the most important step to being a part of the community. Period.

There you have it. Perhaps I’ve listed 1 or 2 that you never considered. I can understand that. Of course, if you have put yourself out in the community, you already completed the #1 rule. So good for you! Keep it up!

Everyone else out there whom are too scared to take a step or two: Just know that there are deaf people out there who know where you live. And if you don’t get your butt in gear and get out there and meet us in person, we’ll have to kill you.

Me intimidating? Never.

DISABLED OR DIFFERENT?

One of the strangest things I've noticed with people is the various interpretations of words as they use them. For example, take the word “rich.” Some people see that word and think of Donald Trump. Other people get raises or bonuses at work and think of themselves as rich. Still others, me included, find a $5 bill in their pocket and are on Cloud 9 for a week.

Another word that has a host of definitions is the word “disabled.” Even looking it up on various sites online, I found three definitions. But for the most part they read: “Physically or mentally impaired in a way that substantially limits activity, especially in relation to employment or education.” So, whom does that include? People in wheelchairs? Blind people? People with severe mental illness” Cancer? Diabetes? What about deaf people?

The Deaf community is a large and diverse group of people. In fact, some might think it odd, but it doesn't just include Deaf people. Hearing people from various backgrounds and careers can be part of the group, too. But let me just talk about the deafies for now. Are deaf people as a whole, “disabled”? Believe it or not, that is a question with a ton of different answers. Here’s what two separate groups might say….

Many people who lose their hearing as an adult do find adjustment extremely rough. Some never adjust. These people (late-deafened adults or adventitiously deaf) often consider themselves disabled due to being unable to willingly make the changes needed in their life. Communication can be horrible if they cannot lipread (I can’t) or never learn to sign. Many that had jobs, find themselves unable to continue on doing some things they were able to do in the past. And if that’s the way they've gone about living as a deaf person, they’re sure to think themselves disabled and, hopefully, seek help.

But tell a Culturally Deaf person they’re disabled and be prepared for a solid argument. Most believe Deaf people are not disabled—not impaired—they’re simply a minority group of people who live differently and communicate differently than their hearing acquaintances.

They can use the phone (video phones allow deaf people to do so with relative ease). They can express themselves fully using American Sign Language. They can work at most places with a little accommodation being given. They can go to school, get degrees, just like anyone else, if they’re given an interpreter. And so on and so on.

I personally fall into the middle physically between these two groups. I was born partially deaf, but my family raised me in the Hearing world since I could still hear some. I learned to speak, but often struggled to understand what was being said if the other person was not talking on my left side. However, I later lost the rest of my hearing. They describe hearing loss past 90 dB “profound,” but I’m not profoundly deaf, I’m totally deaf. There’s just nothing there.

When I became fully deaf, I started studying and learning ASL with a vengeance. I got many accommodations around the house I lived in (doorbell signaler, video phone, door knockers, vibrating alarm clock, etc). I also did a lot of research and finally went on to become a Sign Language teacher.

If someone were to ask me if I was disabled, I would have to say yes. WAIT!! Hear me out! (No pun intended.) I would say yes, but not because of my lack of hearing. I actually suffer from several severe mental illnesses that “substantially limit” my activity. So, that’s why I struggle. If I were not mentally ill, would I say I was disabled just by being deaf? Not at all. I’m not disabled by my deafness—I’m simply different.

Now, who can argue with that?

AH! TECHNOLOGY!

Forever gone are the days of phone booths and having to actually go and see the person you want to contact, because there’s no way for you to reach them. Here instead are such things as cell phones, video relay centers, and vibrating alarms. And, to make things even more bewildering. As fast as you can learn how to use these things, there will be updates and even newer technology to deal with.

Don’t get me wrong—I love technology. I mean, having a way to contact people while I’m out and about is an unbelievable relief. As with most deaf people, there was a time when flat tires and car accidents left us stranded with no where to turn.

Although there’s tons of things to help the deaf and hard of hearing get through life now (doorbell signalers, door knock flashers, baby cry alerts, vibrating alarm clocks, flashing fire alarms and more), one thing seems to have changed the most for us: using the phone.

Years ago, TTYs and TDDs were the way to contact people directly. If the other person didn’t have a TTY or TDD, for example, if they were hearing, the deaf and hard of hearing would call the relay center to help with the contact. We’d type. Then the center would read what we typed to the other person. They’d respond and the center would then type to us what was being said. It was great for what it was, and some people and companies do still use them, but at times it could be terribly slow and quite impersonal.

Now, text cell phones do the trick, but there’s been one improvement many people rate as top notch—the ability to use Sign Language to communicate over the phone. I’m serious! How? Video Phones (VP), computers, and even some cell phones now offer that capability.

If two people have VPs, they can simply dial directly and have a nice “face to face” conversation with each other. This can also be done through computer instant messaging programs, other computer programs such as Skype, and even your cell phone.

But now, thanks to Video Relay Services (VRS), if only the deaf or hard of hearing have VPs and they need to reach someone who doesn’t, they can still use Sign Language and call on a home-based phone line.

It works in much the same way as TTY Relay Centers work. The deaf person dials the phone number for whomever he or she is calling and is immediately connected with some an interpreter at the VRS. The interpreter there then signs with the deaf person “face to face.” VRS connects the deaf to the target person, the deaf person signs or uses his voice (whichever he’s more comfortable with), the ‘terp tells the other person what was signed (if the deaf person isn’t using Voice Carry Over—VCO), the other person responds in their regular phone and the ‘terp signs to the deaf what was said. Confusing” Maybe at first, but once you’ve done it a few times it’s pretty much a godsend.

So, technology really has come a long way for deaf and hard of hearing people. I, for one, am excited to see what comes next!

TMI, Here….T. M. I

Ever had the feeling that all eyes were on you? Just when you actually want discreetness, people’s glances seem to gravitate to you and you just want to crawl into a hole and disappear. This happens fairly often for those deaf and hard of hearing people who use sign language. I mean, they can’t go out in public and chat with their friends without getting a few fascinated eyes on them. It’s inevitable.

Having this happen when you’re having dinner or walking around the mall isn’t really that much of a nuisance. After all, one tends to get used to it. But what happened to me last week is not really the kind of thing you get used to. Now, how do I start describing what happened?…Let’s see…OK. It involved a doctor’s office, feminine itching, a doctor, an intern, a nurse, an interpreter, a husband, a speculum, oh, and lube.

I’d been having some trouble…down there…for a few days and wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything serious. The doctor’s office I go to has their own set of interpreters and I always seem to get the one ‘terp I dislike. I don’t know why I dislike her so much, but I do. And, as I’m sure you can agree, you don’t want people you dislike looking at your crotch.

When I arrived that morning, the intake nurse took my information and had me undress. The doctor then came in and we chatted about ponies and mistletoe, Stonehenge and, oh yeah, vaginal irritation. It wasn’t such an odd conversation, surprisingly, and I think that’s the one thing that baffled me.

Dr: How’s it going today?

Me: Well, to tell you the truth, I’m pretty darn uncomfortable.

Dr: Any discharge?

Me: Not that I know of.

Dr: I’m going to have to take a look.

Me: You mean I have to show it to you?

Dr: ‘Fraid so. But office policy states that I need to have a female nurse in here with me. OK?

Me: (long pause) Tell you what. I’ll show you my vagina if you promise to buy me dinner later.

Dr: Hey, that’s my line.

Awkward.

Ten minutes later, the doctor, the nurse, and another relatively tall man walked in.

Dr: I have an intern working with me today. Is it OK if he observes?

Me: Why not? The more the merrier.

Now, this was a very small room. Everyone was crammed in and, because of this, the interpreter had to stand to the side of the table instead of next to the doctor. This was actually helpful in the way that I didn’t need her looking at my privates. However, the way everyone was positioned, I was looking at the ‘terp upside down.

This made everything a little difficult. I couldn’t understand much of what she was signing to me, but it was too uncomfortable to ask for many repeats. So, she would sign, I would nod and mumble, “OK,”(BAD ME!!) and the doctor would proceed.

Dr: I need to use the speculum so I can see better.

What I Caught: I NEED BETTER

Me: OK (Nodding and smiling—even though I hadn’t a clue)

Dr: Jamming a freezing piece of metal into an orifice that just wasn’t ready for that.

Me: Ahhhhhhhh!

Everyone In The Room: (Gasping) Are you OK?!?!?

Me: Oh, I’m dandy. Maybe when you’re finished, I could introduce you all to my parents and we could reminisce about this moment.

Sometimes no one gets my humor.

Luckily, the exam didn't go on too long and the problem I'd been having wasn't anything serious. They were all up and out pretty quickly. Sadly, the only person who wanted to shake my hand as they left was the one that had been digging for treasure a moment ago. 

But there you have it. Too much information? Maybe, but a learning moment? No doubt. Here's the gist of it...

Don’t say, “OK,” when you’re absolutely clueless and when laying down with your feet in stirrups and an audience looking at a part of you that wasn’t meant to be on display. And, above all, if you must go to the doctor and he must look at your Vertical Smile, don’t forget to bring some champagne and flowers to set the mood.

I Had The Right To Remain Silent…At Least I Think I Did…

Some things just don’t happen every day: You finding $100 in your wallet, Tom Hanks personally requesting you to co-star with him in his next Oscar-worthy movie, or your being arrested and formally charged with a DUI when you don’t even drink. Sure, a couple of those things would be wonderful to happen, but handcuffs and police stations make watching Joan Rivers’ face more appealing.

A few weeks ago, I started the day like any other. After getting everyone ready for school and forcing them to eat some breakfast whether they were hungry or not, I set off to drop my kids at their wonderful charter school. On my way home, I became parched and decided to stop at a near-by gas station to get one of my guilty pleasures of sweetened iced tea.

However, starting to pull out of the parking lot, I became distracted and very gently bumped the back bumper of the car in front of me.  With absolutely no damage whatsoever, the guy in that car insisted on having the police come to make a report. I think that was because he felt awkward dealing with a deafie and also I was acting slightly inebriated since I can’t lipread and they didn’t even understand that I was Deaf in the first place.

When the police did finally arrive at the scene, I got out of my van and started staggering around. I simply couldn’t stand up straight. I get this way when standing after sitting for a while. But it sure didn’t look like I was experiencing momentary dizziness to everyone around me! In fact, I’m sure I looked completely dead-on drunk!

Then, the officer approached me and started asking me questions. I must have informed him that I was completely deaf a million times. I also told him I couldn’t lipread and had no idea what he was saying. He pondered this for about two seconds, and then continued talking to me in exactly the same manner as before. Ugh!

I took the Breathalyzer test, which showed 0 alcohol in my body, but even that didn’t seem to matter much. I believe he read me my rights as he handcuffed me, put me in his car, and took me to jail, but there’s no way I could have understood him. Nothing was written down for me and no interpreter was present. Is that even legal? Doesn’t the rights he probably read me include a, “Do you understand these rights,” at the end? Because if he did read them to me, I surely didn’t understand. In fact, that entirely morning/experience, left me understanding absolutely nothing!

I could go on and on about what happened that day, but with a case of severe memory loss and the fact that they had me in custody for hours and hours before an interpreter showed up at the jail, (meaning I was confused and completely ignorant to anything anyone said), it wouldn’t be extremely informative.

But here I am, charged with a DUI when I don’t even drink or do drugs. They’ve even informed me that I could be facing thousands of dollars in fines and jail time to serve if convicted!

I arrived at my first court appearance and, again, there was no interpreter scheduled. We all had to wait around for more than an hour, after informing the clerk of my ‘terp needs, for one to even show up. Grrrrr…… And now they’re waiting for my blood labs to be done and reported (they did a blood/alcohol test, which will unquestionably come back as 0). Then they want to see me in court again. My hope, of course, is that they’ll dismiss the charges and leave me alone. And they’d better remember to schedule a ‘terp this time around.

So, as you can see, being Deaf and working with the police, especially if they don’t comprehend what special needs a Deaf person might have, is nothing but a big pain in the butt! Maybe this all has a reason though. Didn’t someone once say that everything happens for a reason? Maybe this is all a way of insisting I stop drinking copious amounts of sweetened tea. When you think about it, if I’d never stopped for my guilty pleasure, I would have simply gone home and enjoyed the rest of the day.

Let’s just hope that all of this takes care of itself as quickly as possible. I don’t experience worry and stress all that well. 

MY SECRET LANGUAGE AT THE ROLLER DERBY

Having no money and three months of summer to spend in the house with three adolescent kids can equal quite a bit of frustration and boredom. Oh, I’ve done my share of  drolling out chores or taking them to the park, but the park gets old after a while and chores, well, let’s just say that doesn’t exactly make the complaining stop.  Luckily, we were blessed with a little spending money the other day, so Kenny and I decided to take the family on an outing to the local roller skating rink.

I used to roller skate all the time as a kid. I was hell on wheels. Skating around my neighborhood, up and down the parking lots (we lived across the street from an elementary school) and around the playgrounds, I could really get my groove thing on. I was hot. Then I grew up. Or rather, I grew old. I tried roller skating again a year ago and fell flat on my face—which is unusual since most people actually fall on their butt. So, this time around, I brought my Nook to read while the others got their groove thing on and I decided I’d just observe.

That place was loud! How do I know? Well, when you can feel pounding in your chest from outside in the lobby, you know you’re in for a treat to your eardrums. I needn’t worry about that though, right? I just found myself a seat and preceded to enjoy feeling my entire body vibrate to rap songs for the bulk of the evening.

After getting everyone situated, they all took off to have some fun. Two of my kids made their way to the beginner’s circle and sat there. They were too intimidated by all the people—scared it would turn into some sort of roller derby on wood. They saw that I was looking at them, so they started talking to me.

”There’s too many people here,” my daughter, Natalie, signed to me.

“Just stay close to the outside and you’ll be fine,” I signed back.

Next, my son chimed in: “Look at me! I can skate on one foot! AHHH!” He fell with a smack onto the floor. But he was still proud.

After making sure he wasn’t dying or didn’t have a concussion, I turned my attention to Kenny and the oldest, Mollie. They were getting down, going around the rink at lightning speed. I tried to talk with them. They tried to watch me…until they ran into the person on their side and knocked them down. Then it DID become a roller derby of sorts. But still—we had our “secret language!” I could communicate with any one of them from where I sat (safely)—something other moms and onlookers couldn’t do.

Sure, it caused accidents and broken limbs and lots of dirty looks. But don’t all good things? The point is, I like my language. I can use it anywhere. And, most of the time, the results are very promising and good. OK. Maybe once in a while its use results in a trip to the ER. Geez. Judge much? It’s a good thing (Not the ER—the signing). I like it. And at the roller rink I got to witness it in full motion.

BABY, TAKE A BOW!

Being invited to a party isn’t something that regularly occurs for me. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m kind of reclusive and keep most of my socializing at home. People don’t know my face as well as they know my name from Deaf Expressions and such. But I was invited to a party with Kenny and I was a little reluctant. I mean, I would be the only deaf person there. Sure, Kenny would be there and he always happily interprets for me, but this party was to have a bunch of his friends and I didn’t want to make him interpret the entire time. Hence, I knew that there would be times when I would be on my own.

Prepared with a pen and notebook to write to people when necessary, I bundled up the nerve to get out of the car and approach the house with Kenny that night. It was a beautiful house. Small, but very nice and I knew the people who lived there, the people having the party, were nice, too. Kathy and Jack had socialized with Kenny and me a few times. Well, not Jack. He always seemed to have somewhere else to be. But Kathy tried to have conversations when she dropped off her kid to play with my kid or I saw her at school. Mostly it was just a wave of the hand though.

Being at the party was pretty cool. I like dancing. No, there wasn’t actual dancing, but I got to see a move that I think teenagers would get a kick out of and maybe make into the new fad thing to do on the dance floor.

Just like any other party, Kenny and I would approach people and they would smile and we would smile and they would speak and Kenny would interpret to me what they said and they would begin bowing. Yes, that’s right: Bowing. But before the bowing, this huge smile would come on their faces. Much like the Joker in Batman. Their eyes would widen like a deer in the headlights, too. Now, put this huge smile and these bug eyes together and you get something not unlike what you would see in a horror film right before this smiling person stabbed you to death. Kind of a Chucky the Doll sort of thing.

But smiling and opening your eyes so wide they almost fall out of their head wasn’t enough. I could tell that, as soon as they realized there was a deafie in their midst, they needed the conversation to be over as soon as possible. This is when the bowing would begin. It happened the same way every single time: They would say something very short. Next, they’d watch Kenny interpret it. Then they’d watch me for my reaction. Finally they’d start nodding and bowing. Ta-da! They’d appear to say! Mission accomplished! I communicated with the Deaf chick! I am a saint! IT IS FINISHED! Then they’d start to slowly back away (bowing as they backed up, of course) until they bumped into someone else. Having to apologize (but of course—that’s the right thing to do), they’d turn to that other person, start a conversation, and that would be the end of it. Goodbye.

After a few of these encounters, I assured Kenny it was fine for him to go chat with some old friends and I found myself a comfy chair and huge alcoholic beverage and proceeded to sit there, doodling in my notebook. Every now and then someone would come up to me and start to talk. I would give them my biggest smile, letting them know I was Deaf, but had pen and paper to write on if we needed it, and watch them slowly bow away. It got to be so much that I felt like royalty. All I needed was a purple sash and one of those Princess rings you can get on QVC for only $29.95.

The party wasn’t a complete waste of time. Not at all. I’m glad we went. Kenny got to chat up some old friends and it looked like he had a blast. And I got to practice my doodling skills while imagining I was married to Prince Kenny and living in the Royal Shack. 

HOW SMOKING AND NUTRITION AFFECT YOUR HEARING by Guest Columnist John O'Connor

How Smoking and Nutrition Affect Your Hearing

Hearing is one of the five basic senses that perceive and interpret the world around us. When there is something physically or neurologically wrong with the way the brain receives sensory information, it can affect your behavior, reactions and quality of life. The choices you make can affect your hearing. When you choose to stay in an environment that hurts your ears or when you pick unhealthy habits such as smoking, you can make your current hearing issues worse.

Role that Smoking Plays in Hearing Loss

Many people believe that hearing loss is a normal part of the aging process, but recent research that was performed on teenagers exposed to secondhand smoke at home showed they were more likely to have sensorineural hearing loss than those who hadn’t. . Sensorineural hearing loss is a problem with the inner ear that occurs if the hair follicle receives an injury or dies. This type of hearing loss is common in seniors and cannot be reversed.

These teenagers had problems with every sound frequency tested but particularly the mid-to-high frequency ranges that are essential for understanding what you hear. Those with the greatest exposure to cigarette smoke had low frequency losses as well. Smoke restricts the blood vessels and results in less blood flow to the ears, but additional research performed on animals also showed there are nicotine receptors in the hair follicles. If smoke binds to those receptors, it creates a toxic situation that can destroy the hair follicle and cause hearing loss and other problems.

Role of Nutrition

While smoking or being exposed to second hand smoke can contribute to your need for a  hearing aid, , research has also looked at the role that nutrition plays. Hearing loss coincides with low levels of calcium and low bone density. Other studies have looked into B-12 deficiency and inadequate levels of folate. B-12 affects the neurological and vascular systems connected to hearing. When B-12 and folate are low, homocysteine is high. That can interfere with circulation and damage the nerves in the inner ear.

What You Can Do

Aging and loud noises certainly play into hearing loss, but you are not helpless to make a difference. Incorporating healthy living into your life can reverse middle ear tendencies to retain fluid and stop further deterioration of your inner ear. If you currently smoke, consider entering a program that can help you to stop. If you’ve living a sedentary lifestyle, search out ways to become more active. Daily exercise will help to increase bone density and help the body hang onto more calcium.

Studying nutritional principles and changing your dietary habits can also help. B-12 is found in dairy products, and folate comes in dark green leafy vegetables such as spinach. As research into hearing loss continues to unfold, it’s becoming more obvious that many of the problems associated with aging are not actually connected to aging at all. When you take the steps to avoid toxins and boost nutrition and

exercise today, you can avoid further hearing problems tomorrow.


John O'Connor is a father, husband, lover of sports and the outdoors and new found blogger.  He is passionate about healthy aging and living a healthy lifestyle especially in terms of hearing loss.  He feels hearing loss is a major problem and that it is important to spread awareness due to the lack of understand around the issue.