Wednesday, January 11, 2012


If you’ve read my blog, you may remember that I (and probably most deaf people) have people telling me the strangest things and asking me some of the most bizarre questions I ever thought I would be asked. Sometimes they're annoying, many times they just crack me up, but they always leave an impression on my mind.

I was sitting in a local Applebee’s, studying the menu, when the waitress approached. My husband was preoccupied, trying to help our kids decide if they liked anything on the kids’ menu, so the waitress naturally turned to me.

Of course, I was so entranced in the menu that I didn’t even realize she was standing there. She must have stood there for a good three to five minutes before I noticed her out of the corner of my eye.

“What would you like to drink?” I think she asked.

“Huh?” was my eloquent retort.

Kenny turned to me and signed, “DRINK WANT WHAT?”

The waitress just about turned the color of a beet. “Oh, I didn’t realize she was hearing impaired.” (Grrrr..) “What do you think she wants to drink?” Kenny chuckled to himself, probably debating whether to tell me what she just said or let it go. For the time being, he waited for me to answer and interpreted for me.

A few minutes later, she brought our drinks and asked about what we wanted to order. Of course, by this time she wasn’t even acknowledging my existence anymore. I must have scared her too much…my Deaf Fangs and all. When everyone else had ordered and it was my turn, she turned to my husband and, once again, asked him what he thought I would like to eat. What am I? A dog?

Kenny motioned over to me, where I sat with my finger stuck onto the menu, waiting for her to look. All in all, it wasn’t any different than any other time we’ve all gone out to eat.

So, the waitress brought the food, made sure Kenny and the kids had everything they needed, and left. We dug into our mozzerella sticks and chicken penna and all seemed just fine. About fifteen minutes later, the waitress approached our table.

“Hi! You know, a few of my co-workers and I have been watching you guys sign. It’s just so neat! In fact, we think we might have even understood what you were saying. Did you say….,” and she went on trying to “interpret” what our private conversation had been about. Of course, she was totally wrong, but that’s beside the fact! Privacy?? Hello?!?! Kenny tried to be the polite one as he interpreted to me what the waitress was saying. I simply sat there and glared at her. Will she ever go away??

“I’ve just gotta ask: Does being hearing impaired hurt? I mean, really. She must have to constantly dodge cars when she goes for a walk and I’m guessing she has to walk everywhere, since it’s illegal for those people to drive or even ride a bike. Or maybe they have special devices for them? They’re such fascinating people! You know?”

Yes, stupid-head waitress. We know.

“Sometimes I think I would like to be hearing impaired, but I don’t think I ever could. I mean, no sound at all? And besides, I look terrible in black.”

The only thing that came to my mind was, “Huh?”

She continued to explain:

“Every time I see someone signing at church or stuff like that, they are wearing black. So I know it’s, like, required. Plus I don’t think I could ever stand up in front of all those people. They’d all know I was (whispered “deaf”) then. Is she given a script or anything before she gets up there?” She was serious. I sat there staring at my husband in disbelief. This waitress was not going to leave, so we might as well finish this ridiculous conversation.

I began to sign. “Those are interpreters. They’re not deaf. They’re there to help the deaf and hard of hearing enjoy the service by signing whatever the pastor and other people are saying.” I hoped that would be sufficient in explaining the situation, so I sat, eyes glued to her face, waiting for her to take in all the information.

“Oohhhh.” (Long pause.) When she finally spoke again, it was to be the last thing she said to us before going off her shift. “Well, I guess that’s kind of cool. Still, I wouldn’t want to be like her. It would take me way too long to learn Braille.”


  1. You have got to be kidding me. That made my head hurt.

  2. THAT kind of people I simply cannot get along with no matter what. And they still wonder at that and write it off as because I'm deaf. Enuf said!

  3. Oh boy...makes some of my stupid comments look good!

  4. OMG. What? No way-- I just-- I CAN'T EVEN!

    Did she get a tip? Lol

  5. OMG! I think I peed myself a little! But, Jeez Louise - are you friggen KIDDING?????

  6. Rachel, she actually left while we were still there, so, no, she didn't get a tip. Someone should definitely give her one...and I don't mean the money kind.

    Tip #1: Just don't speak. Ever. LOL

  7. Johnnysgirl: I wish I was. I really wish I was. :v)

  8. Oh my goodness! I went through the same thing really, but I was nicer....LOL! But this made me laugh so much I had to share with my roommate! I have Adam Goings to thank for sharing this, because it is so very familiar in so many aspects! Very Funny and so glad you shared it, but..seriously?!? Braille? oh my god!

  9. Jada, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :v) As for Braille, I have had that happen many times. I went to vote and told them at the desk that I was deaf. So, they left and came back with this huge book in Braille. LOL

  10. The poor gal was begging to be educated. I'd have been happy to give her a free lesson and offer a bit of friendship as well, along with a contact or two for further information. I might be a freak show, but it wouldn't be for long. Thanks for a funny description, though!

  11. So... You don't have to wear black all the time now? Did that change recently?

  12. LOL! Anonymous, *please* tell me you're joking. LOL :v)

  13. This, at first, didn't make any sense to me. "I look terrible in black."? Huhhhh? What does the color black have to do with being deaf? And now? It still doesn't make much sense.

    Good gods... How rude people can be. Though, I don't think she even knew she was being rude. She was just so ignorant of all of it. But, it was still extremely inconsiderate of her. And she's talking to your husband, about you, like you're this alien. I don't know how anyone could not know that's rude. Then again, everyone has their own perspective of what is rude. However, I do believe she was supposed to be doing her job, not making conversation with customers. Even if the restaurant wasn't that full. She's a waitress, not an entertainer. It was kind of funny to read, and at the same time, disappointing that someone can be so clueless.

  14. Unknown, yes, it was a pretty bizarre encounter. You said you didn't understand the title. When I write a blog, I like to take something from the blog itself and make it into my title. In this case, "I'd hate being deaf--I look terrible in black" was what the waitress said to us. Then she proceeded to explain what she meant...and you're right, it made no sense. LOL But it did get our attention. :v)

    1. Oh, no, I mean, I do get the title, sorta XD. I know it was from the topic, after reading the topic. And even though she explained it... yeah, it just... It's hilarious and sad how she put that together... Thank you, though. Bizarre... hah, yeah, that'd be the right word... Anyway, I like your blogs. They can be amusing, but they're serious and thoughtful. It's nice.

    2. Thanks, Unknown. That means a lot to me. Hope you'll comment more often. I always love knowing what the readers thought of my situations. :v)

    3. Many interpreters wear black...and she thought they (interpreters) were deaf so...she thought if you were deaf, you'd "have" to wear black.

  15. Oh dear, it sounds as if she was deaf to reality and empathy, for which there is no assistive device. I have moderate hearing loss and have worn hearing aids for about 10 years but genuinely cannot say that people are disrespectful - on the whole they seem shy and nervous. (Mind you, this is England.) Maybe I'd prefer more people to ask me what it's like, because hearing loss has changed me in ways that may be interesting and useful for anyone as they get older. Like you, I'm feeling really in touch with my writing - I'm loving the feeling of being able to say exactly what I want to say, outside and beyond the rapidfire if (for me) unreliable interaction of talking. Please excuse the plug but I've written a post which I tentatively suggest might be interesting – though curiously I intended it for people without hearing loss. So …

  16. I am not blind and I want to see your little thumbnail pic in full sized glory, or in braille?

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  18. Yes!

    We do get all the weirdo, stupid, and nonsense comments, right?

    Anyway, your experience was "way out there" in relation to my experiences, but just for laughs, two comments that I tend to get (repeatedly) :

    1. You're deaf, so you need to listen.
    2. I'll pray for you.

    All the best,