Five Tips To Make Lipreading Easier

I’m deaf. It’s true. I’m stone deaf and sign language is my main mode of communicating. Of course, it can’t be only mode though. There are too many people out there who don’t know sign language to expect to be able to get around in the world only using that method. No. Another way I communicate is via the written word. If I’m lucky enough to encounter a hearing person with patience, writing back and forth is a really good way to go.

But that doesn’t happen all the time. I wouldn’t say it’s rare, but it certainly doesn’t happen often. Usually, people are in too much of a hurry to put their stuff down and write to me. What tends to happen, regardless of if I announce I can’t lipread, is people discover I’m deaf and then they tend to just speed off with their mouths, expecting me to lipread them with ease.

Truth is, I’m more than willing to try to lipread people. But they have to put forth some effort as well. That brings me to these five ways to make lipreading easier for the lipreader…

Tip #1: Beware of facial hair.

As anyone who has ever tried to lipread can attest, pseudo-Santas and other men with Frito catchers around their mouth can prove a great challenge. If you’re a man with a mustache (or a woman, for that matter), please make sure it is trimmed around the lips. It can be downright impossible to lipread someone with hair all over the place.

Tip #2: Don’t stand in front of a window or light.

One of the biggest problems I run into is trying to read the face of someone standing in front of a window or light. This puts a shadow on their face and makes it nearly impossible to tell what they’re saying. While we’re talking about it, don’t stand in front of a window or light even when you’re signing. The shadow makes it impossible to even see facial expressions—something crucial in a signed conversation.

Tip #3: Watch your hands.

Something many people don’t realize is how much they use their hands when they talk. It’s true! You have no idea how often I’ll look over and think two people are signing to each other until I realize it’s just hearing people using their hands. It might not be practical to tell you not to use your hands at all (in fact, sometimes it really does help give clues to what’s being said), but mind yourself when you go to put your hands to your mouth. This happens a lot. We cannot lipread you if your hands are on your lips.

Tip #4: Speak naturally and at a SLIGHTLY slower pace. Do not over-enunciate.

I am a lot of things. But one thing I am not is a dentist. I do not need to see your fillings and cavities, One thing a lot of people do when they find out I’m deaf is start to over-enunciate, saying each word overly clearly and with big lip movements. It’s scary! It’s true that speaking a little slower, a little more clearly, may help. But not so much that it changes the look of the words. Speak clearly, but at a normal rate. And, for Pete’s sake, keep your dental work to yourself!

Tip #5: Don’t chew gum or talk with your mouth full.

Finally, there’s one thing you would think wouldn’t need to be included on this list, but sadly does. Please do not talk with your mouth full of food…even stuffing it to the side. It’s downright nasty! It’s difficult enough to try to decipher what you’re saying. But when you add gobs of mushy egg salad to the mix, it’s gross! Even chewing gum while you speak can make it impossible to know what you’re saying. So swallow before speaking, please.

So, there you have it. Lipreading is not an easy skill to acquire. Only 35% of what is said can be lipread by even the best of lipreaders – 65% is guesswork. But you can make it a bit easier on the deaf or hard of hearing person by following these five tips. Put them to use if the deaf person says he or she can lipread. But if they tell you they can’t, even these five tips might not work. Written communication may be best. Good luck!

Are People's Needs Being Met?

We’ve come a long way since the days of serious oppression vented toward the deaf and hard of hearing population. Things such as interpreters and phones are now readily accessible in most situations. Most. So, when I found myself a patient at a nearby mental health facility, I was quite surprised at the workers’ attitude toward me and my deafness.

I should first let you know that this specific admission was, by far, not my first time being there. Not only are accommodations the law, but these people knew me by name when I got to my unit. You’d think they’d already know about my needs. You’d think it anyway….

The first main problem I had was the fact that several of the nurses didn’t believe that I couldn’t lipread.  “All deaf people lipread. I think she’s faking for attention’s sake.” One nurse in particular took many people aside and said, “If you catch her lipreading, come tell me. I don’t believe she can’t.” Now, why would I fake something just to make my life more difficult than it already is?

After a few admissions, I think the staff finally “got it” that I need an interpreter, but in there lay another problem…cost.

Although they were usually good about calling for a ‘terp, the problem was when that ‘terp should leave. A ‘terp was scheduled from 9 till 12 and from 1 till 4 for groups, meeting with my doctor or case manager, etc. But they would often give me medicine to de-stress me and it made me unbelievably sleepy. However, when I would lay down to try to sleep it off for a half hour or so, they would send the interpreter home—saying that they didn’t want to have to pay for an interpreter if I wasn’t awake to use them.

But what about the doctor? They would send the ‘terp home and then, later, would say the doctor needs to talk with me or that group is happening and it was mandatory to go. What they didn’t understand was that ‘interpreters are paid on a two-hour basis. No matter when they actually left, the hospital would still have to pay for the full two hours at a time. So, sending them home didn’t save anyone money and it made me miss the doctor or nurse or any professional who needed to speak with me.

Another problem that was never rectified while I was in-patient, was the telephone. Technically, it would be best if they had a video phone hooked up for deaf patients to use. They said they “thought they had a TTY around here somewhere,” but, not only was it yet to be found, but no one I know has one anymore. They’re very outdated,  So I would need to have my interpreter call on a regular land line phone, tell me what the person on the other end said and then let me speak into the phone and answer them. No privacy whatsoever. It was just wrong.

While I was in there this last time, several of my interpreters commented to their agency regarding how mistreated I am as far as communication goes. When I was discharged from the hospital, I worked with the customer rights’ unit at the agency and was told that things would be different next time. Next time? I hope I don’t have a “next time,” but I guess, if I do, at least (hopefully) it will be able to meet all of my needs.

COOL , DEAF, OR DEMON? OR MAYBE ALL THREE!

My kids like to have their friends over to hang out or play with. I like this, too. I’ve always had this picture of me as the “cool mom,” with kids flocking to our house just because they know I’ll be home to entertain them. This doesn’t usually quite work though. Actually, it never works. Instead of the “cool” mom, I’m the “deaf” mom, and that tends to scare them away.

Good or bad, I tend to judge my kids’ friends by how they interact with me. If they never give me eye contact and never reply to my greetings and such, they must not be very good children. If, on the other hand, they talk up a storm and demand that my children interpret for them, they’re the best kids in the world and I welcome them at any time. Sad, but true.

What I’ve actually come to realize though is that pretty much all kids are scared meeting me the first couple of times, simply because I’m deaf and, hey, that’s scary. Or maybe it’d be better to use the term “intimidating.” I do my best to make sure people are comfortable, but it’s like telling people not to worry. Someone comes up and says, ”I’m worried,” and you’re response is, “Don’t worry.” What do you expect to happen? “Oh, great! Thanks! I’m not worried anymore.” I don’t think so.

So, telling people that I don’t bite and I’m really easy-going with new kids doesn’t make someone all-of-a-sudden at ease around me. I like to make jokes and include the kids in my banter, but, even I can admit that it’s not easy—especially since I can’t lipread.

I wish there was a magic wand that I could wave around and make people see me as a person before they see me as a DEAF person, but I’ve come to realize that’s just not likely. I’ll always be the DEAF mom to the kids at school.

But, you know what? I am DEAF. I’m proud to be DEAF. And being the only DEAF mom at my kids’ school should be an honor. So, I’m going to stop worrying about it. With each new kid, I’ll do my best to show them I’m a pretty cool person to hang with. If they don’t see that the first time around, perhaps the second time. And if I haven’t broken them in by the fifth date, maybe I’ll don a demon costume when I open the door and then run at them, hissing and moaning. I’ll then reveal my true identity to them. If that doesn’t make them relax, I’m afraid there is simply no hope. But, man, it’ll be worth the trouble just to see the look on the terrified kid’s face.