I decide I’m going to use my voice. I start off easy, making sure that the vibrations in my throat feel even and steady. I continue to talk, starting to get involved in the conversation. After a couple of minutes, I feel at ease and begin to just speak as I normally would. I start to notice something. People begin glancing at each other in a questioning manner. They look at me with eyes that seem a bit uneasy and confused. Then it happens. I realize what they are thinking. They are thinking, “Is she angry?”
I could be as happy as a clam and just super excited about the topic we’re discussing. People think I’m starting to get ticked off.
I could be unsure of something and need to ask for clarification from a specific person. That person thinks I’m challenging what they are saying.
I could be tired and too exhausted to breathe. People think I’m frustrated and annoyed.
It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing. They think I’m upset! And I’m not! I really am not!
Oh, there are also times when I am upset, but it’s not the right atmosphere to show it. Too bad for me. They already think I’m mad when I’m feeling fine. Imagine how I must sound when I want to wring their necks!
I’ve tried breathing exercises. I’ve tried holding my throat throughout an entire conversation (Boy, does that look unusual). But most of all, I always explain to the person I’m speaking with that I cannot hear my own voice and, if I sound angry, I’m not.
Doesn’t matter. Hearing people base a lot of input on how it sounds. Even if I say I’m not mad, if it still sounds that way, that will be their first (and usually only) assumption.
I’m not sure what else to do. I suppose I could turn my voice off for the rest of my life, but why should I have to do that? Sometimes voicing is convenient. However, if, in the end, they all think I’m about to growl, “Them’s are fightin’ words,” maybe I should just keep my mouth shut!
Disclaimer: Despite what this blog may “sound” like, I was not angry, upset, frustrated, nor ticked off writing it. (HUGE SMILE)
I know the feelingReplyDelete
I usually sound loud and angry...lol, oh well, deal with it, you know?ReplyDelete
This is me, my voice and I'm not changing for anybody. :-)
Good post, as always.
Liz and Kym, it's good to know I'm not the only one with that problem.ReplyDelete
Thanks for the compliment, Kym. :v)
LOL Happens to me too. On top of speaking too loud, I knit my eyebrows in concentration while trying to lip read the other person.ReplyDelete
maybe you should reserve your voice when you are angry... JKReplyDelete
many people tell me that I talk clearer when I'm upset.
I know that feel! legit, every day people get annoyed and pissed at me because they think I'm mad at them! it's really hard to deal with but it's good to know that there are others that get it!!!ReplyDelete