I don’t write in my blog enough. I use to, but my depression
got the best of me and then I just ended up stopping. Couldn’t think of
anything funny to write about. However, even when I’ve got a world of writer’s
block in me, people still seem to find my blog and read it. I’m so, so happy
about that.
I get people asking all sorts of things, like where an ASL
class might be located or if a certain situation really did happen. Some
want me to read books and give reviews about them (I’m not so good at that
since I really only read non-fiction and most of the books they want me to read
are fiction). But sometimes I do get requests to be interviewed.
In fact, last week I received an email from a teenaged girl
who “found” my blog and wanted to know if I would answer some questions to help
her with a project at school. Sure! Of course I said yes. Always happy to help
where I can. But, unfortunately, I couldn’t be of much help to her. See, her
project was to compare the kind of sympathy for the blind with the kind of
sympathy for the deaf.
The problem I ran into was that deaf people don’t really get
sympathy. Rolled eyes, we get. Frustration. Angry communicators. We get all
that. But very, very few people actually feel sorry for us. It’s more of a nuisance
to them.
“Hi! I was just wondering if you could come speak with my
class about deafness.”
“I’m sorry, what? Can you write that down? I’m deaf and
cannot lipread. I need you to write for me.”
“Nevermind. I’ll ask someone else.”
Good luck with that! If you’re looking for a deaf person,
you better be ready to write at least some of your conversation. Or repeat it
slowly three times. (This, of course, does not include those who lipread like a
pro.) Fact is, communicating with a deafie can be difficult. Not always, but
often. And people don’t like that. In fact, they hate that! The thing is, deaf
people don’t look deaf. You can’t decipher a deaf person from a hearing
person just upon looking. So it’s a shock or a surprise or a grenade thrown
right in their faces if they find you can’t handle small talk. No thanks.
I’m not up to that much trouble. I’ll just move on over to this other person.
And it hurts sometimes. They leave. Sometimes they just turn
and walk away without any acknowledgement. Ouch.
The blind, on the other hand, are visible. People can
and do sympathize with someone who can’t see this beautiful world. Let me
help you across the street. Would you like me to read that to you? What do you
need? I can help!
Now, I’m not blind and, in fact, I only know a few blind
people, so forgive my ignorance if I’m wrong. But they do get sympathy. I see
it all the time. It’s that inevitable question:
If you could be blind or deaf which would you choose? And
everyone chooses deaf. Why, “Because it would be easier. At least I can drive
(you do drive, don’t you?) and I would have to learn Braille. If I were deaf, I
could just learn sign language and everything would be normal otherwise.”
Ha! What’s “normal?” And as a matter of fact, if you learned
sign language, who exactly would you be signing to? Are all of your family
members and friends going to learn it, too? Will the world be able to cater to
you if you know ASL? Dude, you have no idea what you would be getting yourself
into.
Anyway, back to the question the teenager asked me (remember
her from above?). Compare the two, sympathy-wise. I can’t. They’re two totally
separate entities, each with unique and diverse experiences. I’d like to say
that no two experiences are alike, but that’s not true. That’s what makes this
blog helpful. Other deafies can read it and say, “I’ve been there.” Hearing
people can read it and be baffled at how ludicrous the situations are. Blind or deaf? Who gets more sympathy?
There’s no comparison because there’s very little sympathy for the deaf
population (though it’s not unfounded in some circumstances).
As for me, I don’t want anyone’s sympathy for my
deafness. I am part of a great community of people who have a rich and diverse
culture. I’m Deaf. I sign. It’s how I communication. Now, do I miss sound at
any time? Hell, yeah! I’d do anything to hear music again or listen to my kids’
voices (of which I’ve never heard). But I don’t need people looking at me like
I’m some fragile person who needs to be saved.
I never heard back from the girl after I explained the
situation of deaf versus blind. Don’t know if she went to another source to try
to find an answer she liked better or if what I gave was sufficient and she
needn’t contact me again. That’s OK though. I don’t expect an answer. I do
wonder if it surprised her. I wonder if this surprises you. Did you already
know or is this news to you?
