I WANT TO BE ON REGIS & KELLY'S TRIVIA GAME

Hey! What about me? Every morning at 9 AM, I sit down to watch Regis Phillbin and Kelly Ripa on "Live with Regis and Kelly." And every day they spin the wheel and call someone they've chosen out of a box of pictures. All that person has to do is answer a question regarding something that happened on the previous show and they are whisked away to a wonderful week-long retreat in exotic places. Nice, huh?

Well, not for us deafies. How would they call us. You know they'd never go through the VRS or TTY services. That means we're left out in the dirt. No vacation for you. What a bummer! If only I was hearing, I would be sipping Pina Colodas and enjoying the sun in Hawaii or Bermuda at just this very moment.

OK. OK. I realize that there's a SMALL possibility that I wouldn't know the answer, but it's so minute and it really doesn't matter, now, does it. I'm deaf. That means I'm excluded. I'm excluded from many things and, man, it ticks me off. I want to prance around their broadcasting station with a shirt on that reads, "I count, too!"

Alas, it will probably never happen. But just think of all the things you miss out on in the vast majority of life just because you can't hear something. Doesn't make us dumber or slower or more insignificant. No way! We're smarter than the average bear, as the cartoon character would say. So I slam my hand down on the table and flick the lights 70 times. Damn you! Include the deaf and hard of hearing. WE COUNT.

OK. I feel better. Getting off my soapbox.............